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Posts Tagged ‘cold’

Ch. 1

Once an unmitigated member of the heavenly skies, I am now bound to the Earth as if my wings are anchored to the molten rivers of the Earth’s core.

There is but one other who has fallen as low as I, but his name must not be spoken.

This all began when I fell to the ground in quiet solitude, flung from the clouds of Paradise into the dark back alley of a Toronto based Burger King. I lay covered in rain and dirt, and closed my eyes against the tsunami of despair filling my lungs. The blackness beneath my lids gave me hope that this might all be a nightmare, that I would open my eyes to the vast warmth of God’s abode.

God turned out to be a shrivelled up homeless cat sitting on my chest, attempting to chew my grime covered wings. I threw the cat off of my body with a shriek and pushed myself against the wall.

The rain pelted against the dumpster beside me as I looked up into the ever-pour. Blackness engulfed the skies as coarse thunder filled my keen ears. The zigzag of the downtown traffic filled my peripherals.

I looked down at my hands. Pale, translucent hands. Made for the clear skies, but shrivelling in the rain.

I sat in silence for a few moments, contemplating my next move. I decided to first get out of the rain. I pushed myself up onto my feet and walked out into the street. The passers-by all gawked and stared, craning their heads to get a glimpse of me.

It was then that I realized how cold, and exposed, my breasts were. He could’ve at least given me clothes before hurling me into the depths of the Fallen world.

I sighed and pushed my way through the crowd, as people shrieked at my wings or shouted at me to take off my stupid costume and find some real clothes. I shoved my way into the Burger King, dripping wet, butt naked, with a set of wings tucked against my back. They were now only visible from behind.

The folks at Burger King stopped eating to stare at me. I rolled my eyes and walked up to the counter.

“I need some clothes, please,” I said, staring into the eyes of this freckled faced elf boy who was trying his best to look me in the eyes.

“I- I’m sorry, miss, but we sell food here, not clothes,” he stuttered.

“Excuse me!” shouted a stout man as he stalked up to me with eyes pulled into slits. “If you do not leave this establishment right now, I will call the police!”

“Just try it and see, you lump,” I spat.

“Hey, hey, here, I’ve got a jacket you can borrow,” said another man, walking up behind me and handing me a jacket.

“Thank you,” I smiled, pulling it on. It fell to my knees, covering up almost everything, and had soft fur lining the hood and insides.

“I’ll help you outside,” said the boy, gesturing towards the door.

I gave the stout man another glare before following the boy out into the rain.

“Sorry, I didn’t want things to get ugly in there,” the man said, rubbing his thumb to his scruffy chin.

“That’s alright, thank you for the jacket,” I said, pulling it tighter around me.

“Yeah, about that, are you… alright? Can I help you get somewhere, or find someone?” His eyes flashed with curiosity.

I sighed. “No, I just need to find a place that will give me clothes.”

“Here, there’s a salvation army right down the street who can probably help you out, let me take you, it’ll be on me,” he guided me down the busy sidewalk into a small store lit by soft yellow lights and cluttered with boxes of clothing.

The man walked up to the counter and handed the woman behind the counter a bill. He walked back to me with a small smile.

“You can go ahead and pick out an outfit for yourself,” he said, rubbing his face again. “Including a jacket… since I’ll be needing mine back, unfortunately.”

“Alright,” I said, pulling out a sheer blouse from a basket and holding it against the light for inspection. “These aren’t very good quality,” I mumbled.

“Yes, well,” he shrugged.

“It’ll do,” I huffed, pulling an outfit together and handing the man his jacket back. I began to pull on my new clothes in the middle of the store, much to everyone’s shock and dismay. I looked down at my new tank top, jeans and button-down lumberjack shirt. The man handed me a bright red jacket from a hanger in the corner.

It had no fur.

“Well,” he said, pulling on his jacket, “I hope you find your way okay, but I’ll have to be going. Also, you have wings taped to your back, just so you know…”

As he ran his hand through his copper hair, I suddenly remembered who this man was.

“Alastair!” I shouted, pointing at him. “Oh wow, you’ve grown up!”

He looked incredulously at me. “I- I’m sorry? How do you know my name?”

“How’s Shima?” I asked excitedly.

His face coloured with bewilderment.

“Are you two married yet?”

He blinked rapidly and took a step back. “Um, actually, she dumped me a couple of weeks ago, but… who are you?”

My face dropped as confusion and agony filled my insides, and my world began to flood with the ice-cold despair I had been holding back inside my lungs.

~~Ch. 2 to come

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So this isn’t one of the best poems I’ve ever written, but I’ve been lacking in creativity lately. Here it is;

I stand quiet on your porch
And fight away my fears
I gently press against the bell
Holding back my tears

I see your staring, ice blue eyes
Shooting through the glass
I see you turn and disappear
Just like in the past

The snow falls fast, cuts through the wind
Sprinkles in my hair
I hear your steps behind the door
Which through it we both stare

You turn the knob and time speeds up
And then I see your face
I let the night take me away
Leaving not a trace

~~

I’ve been really scattered lately, my emotions a level of neutral so close to zero that it doesn’t even register.

You know what’s funny? I would rather be depressed than ever feel like this. I feel like a zombie, just sort of going through the motions. I don’t know if it’s me or university that’s been turning me into a zombie.

I just want to get angry, but I don’t have the energy.

So my point is, without extreme emotions, my creative juices don’t really flow and I produce half-ass crap such as the ‘poem’ above. Also all of my poems are beginning to sound the same.

I need a new style of writing, and some renewed inspiration.

Someone help me.

-Pancakebliss

P.S. – Also, I’ve begun to hate school. Like, really really hate it. I feel like it’s what’s been sucking out my creativity.

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The Elusive One

I tilt my head to soft grey skies
As droplets pelt against my face
I wonder with a numb surmise
If maybe I could catch your gaze

If this crowd of pulsing vigour
Held your warm frame in its cold
As I felt my own frame quiver
I wished your hand in mine to hold

And trudging through this concrete place
I held the gaze of many peers
Of you I could not find a trace
Never in these eighteen years

You’re a shadow making shivers
Running from the light of day
Fighting oceans, seas and rivers
Returning, when I’m turned away

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This life that we had,

it killed all our joy.

Like a house under an avalanche,

it was swept up and destroyed.

I ran and you ran,

we both ran together.

We said we’d reach the finish line,

we said we’d make it to forever.

But you dropped my hand,

and turned your back on who we were.

You let the avalanche bury me,

and this pain I can’t defer.

I walked the Earth unaware,

that you didn’t care for us.

I made no move to fix things,

though I never made a fuss.

I don’t know how I ended up,

under ten feet of snow.

But the one thing I know is,

I can’t let you go.

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