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A Broken Road

Hello all, as you know I have been MIA for quite a while. I am so sorry about that, sometimes I don’t write anything for a long time and then I just write a billion things so I just post as it comes.

So, in the last year, I have graduated university, fallen in love, back-packed through Europe, lost that love, and finished post-graduate studies. I am now job-hunting like crazy for something in my field while also attempting to mend my heartbreak.

I have only fallen in love one other time before this, and I thought that that was bad, but this is turning out to be much worse. It’s worse because it’s subtle. It’s like a constant ache I have in my chest. With the last, it came in waves and then I would forget and go about my merry day. This time, I never forget. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I can barely breathe or stand up straight or concentrate on what’s in front of me. I feel angry at everything and everyone and I just feel like nobody cares about me, I feel like nobody is here for me when I need them the most, and the one person who I know would be here for me in a heartbeat no matter what is just gone out of my life and it’s all my fault.

This is the first thing I have written in about a year. I can’t really call it art but I think it’s still worth something.

~~~~~I am sorry that I loved you. I am sorry that I pursued you, made you love me forced you to love me then broke your heart. I am sorry that all I ended up being for you was a waste of time. I am sorry that I am a jerk who is selfish and does not think. I am sorry that I am only looking out for myself. I’m sorry that we didn’t work out. I’m sorry that we didn’t make it. You are the man that I want to want to keep on loving.~~~~~

 

xo

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The Etchings

I wish words

were bright like paint

instead of black scribbles

on a napkin

or the faded lines

on my cold skin

I wish words

were brightened hues

on a blank canvas

the loudness

attracting the deaf

and opening their eyes

pulling them in

with screeching cries

But I do not paint

I cannot draw

I only paint the words of my soul on to scraps of paper

They’re merely whispers

unengaging sighs

colouring nothing.

Words change

words die

words lose meaning

Repeat ‘love’ twenty times

it becomes deceiving.

Stare at a painting

a glistening sculpture

the adoration never fades

never floats away with the autumn breeze

or winter’s chill

I only etch my words

onto my sun-kissed skin

displaying the contents of my heart

onto the one canvas I can

yet

words can fail

words will die

words colour the world

through only my eyes

no one else can see

the bright hues of my lines

the electric rhythms

of my soft-spoken rhymes

I cannot scream

I cannot sing

I merely whisper

the etchings of my skin

~~

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Ocean Floor

The waves of the ocean

Ebb past the sinking sun

turning to mist

devouring the Earth

Blue current fills your lungs

as the bubbles etch

and pull

and burn

receding

retreating

until you’re floating

to the ocean floor.

~~

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Demon

If the road to hell is paved with good intentions

Then how do I know

If I’m the

Hero

or the

Villain

of my story.

~am I a demon

am I not the person, who I thought I was?

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Haha, so WordPress.com just notified me that today’s our 3 year anniversary.

Well, I guess it’s a happy anniversary to you too, WordPress.

So much love,
Pancakebliss

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2012 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 3,700 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 6 years to get that many views.

Click here to see the complete report.

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2011 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 2,700 times in 2011. If it were a cable car, it would take about 45 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

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