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Archive for April, 2011

I come back up
To see
Angry clouds
With their black
crippling mist
And no silver lining
They shouted thunder
And conjured lightning
They singed the wind
and sent it running
The trees bent backwards
to avoid their bitter words
of misery and hate
And now as I’m carried
By a jagged wave
I think to myself
Why did I come back
To this
And as the pressure
Pulls me under
Makes my skin ripple
And takes away my breath
I think to myself
This isn’t so bad
Why can’t I stay here
Underneath the water
With the black pools of sin
And no judging eyes
Just me and the water
And the friends who want my flesh.

It’s better than up there.

~~
I realize that it has been a whole year since I first started this blog. Has much changed for me? No, I don’t think so. A lot has happened; that’s true. But me, as a person, I think I’ve remained the same. I wouldn’t be me if I just let a couple of months change who I am. I’ve been the same person since birth, and that will never change. I’ve always been an artist, a visionary – also someone who depends on others. I cling to people’s hopes and needs, and pray that they never depend on me. I’m too afraid to let them down. I want to change the world. I want to make my name.. but I don’t think I ever will.. I’m afraid I’ll just be another casualty for the human race. Another number, another body.. no one special. I’m going to try, though – I’ll never stop trying. I’ve still got a couple of good years, you know, maybe at least until I turn like twenty 😉 although, I won’t mind if I just blend in with the rest of the world.. I don’t care if I’m faceless, I just want someone to be faceless with me, if that’s what I have to be.

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