Archive for April, 2010

              I touch your grey sweater,

and take in the scent of you.

I throw it on the floor,

and I throw the pictures too.

               I burn the things you left,

the things you left behind;

I should burn myself,

‘cause I was never mine.

                  You pushed me out so fast,

our memories are all gone.

I can’t recall our life;

I could if I were strong.

             You took my strength when you,

threw our life away.

I can barely breathe,

why couldn’t you have stayed?

                I crawl into the fire,

‘cause you left me so bereft.

I glance back at the world,

that you and I both left.

He left you, because in a way you left him. It wasn’t just his fault, it was also yours. He made the move to fix things, but you refuse to move on. You’re holding on too tightly. You need to let him go. It’s not your fault you outgrew him, it’s not his fault he outgrew you. He was mature enough to realize and accept the fact that you two aren’t right for each other anymore. But you’re too deep in denial to see the truth. You feel obligated to commit to your empty relationship, even though you’re both miserable with each other. It’s okay to fall out of love with someone. When you meet your true soul mate, you’ll never have to worry about things like this. But until then… have faith and accept.


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         I stand, on the water’s edge;

hovering on the shore,


        The tides wash in,

around my feet,


       The sound of the waves,

rushes in my ears,

I turn away before,

I release my tears;

        I fall to the sand,

with a soft, muted thud,

I tried to escape it,

but I drowned in the flood.

          I catch the sand,

and let it run,

through my fingers.

           I watch as the beige,

grains of eternity,

just linger.

I am aware that the sand surrounding the Lybian and Arabian deserts are referred to as ‘the dead sands’ or the Red Land because they are infertile. However they do have many rare minerals such as gold and fine gems, so do not be fooled by the dead sands. Anyway, my poem is not about the sands that surround the Lybian or Arabian desert, in case you were wondering. It is similar to the poem I posted earlier entitled ‘Soulbound: A dead sea’ (https://pancakebliss.wordpress.com/2010/04/15/soulbound-a-dead-sea/), and it has the same sort of meaning. A soul trapped somewhere, or lingering in a certain place for a period of time. Being trapped in a place where you don’t belong because you have been wronged, or it was simply not your time to leave. You were just in the wrong place, at the wrong time. Your death was wrong.

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This life that we had,

it killed all our joy.

Like a house under an avalanche,

it was swept up and destroyed.

I ran and you ran,

we both ran together.

We said we’d reach the finish line,

we said we’d make it to forever.

But you dropped my hand,

and turned your back on who we were.

You let the avalanche bury me,

and this pain I can’t defer.

I walked the Earth unaware,

that you didn’t care for us.

I made no move to fix things,

though I never made a fuss.

I don’t know how I ended up,

under ten feet of snow.

But the one thing I know is,

I can’t let you go.

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I hate it when you look away,

when your eyes never meet mine.

I hate the fact that you’re so smug,

and how you never seem to smile.

I hate it when your face lights up,

when you see some other girl.

I just really hate how you don’t get,

that you’re my whole wide world.

I hate it that you’re always there,

and you’re always on my mind,

and how I always seem to want you,

every second of my time.

I hate how you can make me smile,

when I’m feeling blue.

I hate you being in my heart,

and I hate my thoughts of you.

This poem reminds me of the one Julia Stiles wrote in the movie ’10 things I hate about you’. Heath Ledger was in that movie (R.I.P. Heath) he was so cute…aww I miss him.

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So it was National Volunteer Week this week and I got lots of pizza and chocolate from the hospital I volunteer at and they said my name on the school announcements. 🙂 I just thought I’d mention this because it’s just nice to be appreciated sometimes. I volunteer quite a bit because sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve the luxuries that I have and I feel terrible that I have all these amazing things (like a computer I can use to make a blog) while others don’t even have running water (or toilets) and I’m healthy and able-bodied while some people can’t even lift their fingers to type. It makes me feel better when I give back and I enjoy making others happy.

I’m such a goody two shoes I know I know…and by the way today I got mistaken for a twelve year old (I’m sixteen) and I’m very upset about that (not really, though it is a little insulting) and I don’t think I look like a twelve year old. Fourteen maybe, but not twelve! Gosh. People should get their eyes checked.

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Don’t look at me imploringly,

you know that I can’t help.

Nothing is going to stop it,

not your screams or your yelps.

It’s a force beyond my control,

a knowledge that surpasses my own.

It’s a power that I cannot fathom,

a path I have yet not been shown.

You have the right to begrudge me,

because I know what I said before.

I said that I’d always make it better,

but now you’re writhing on the floor.

I wish that I was almighty,

so I could clear up all of your pain.

And you would never have to leave me,

our struggle would not go in vain.

This time it’s beyond my control,

this time it’s out of my hands.

This time it just might be fatal,

hope might be my only chance.

Your breathing is speeding up,

sending shivers through my soul.

Everything is crashing,

our dreams and all our goals.

As your chest heaves up and down,

your eyes wild with fright.

You grab my hand in desperation,

and I scream out into the night.

You’re falling deeper and deeper,

I pull but there’s no luck.

I weep as I watch you leave me,

I sob as death swallows you up.

The Swallows engulf you and destroy you. That’s what they do. They pull you in and crush your soul. They crush your body. They crush your mind. Beware the Swallows.

Man I have no idea what ‘the Swallows’ mean, but it just seems to fit. So once again, *cue scary music* beware the Swallows…

P.S. Please subscribe and comment!

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The title of this entry is a line from the song Music Again by Adam Lambert. (In case you were wondering)

So I have a slight fever. 😦 I’m obviously not very happy about it. I think I just get sick when the weather changes too abruptly. I don’t know. Anyways, below is another poem that I wrote. Enjoy! 🙂

Sadness and sorrow,

the reapings of death.

It comes and it gets you,

when you’re lying in bed.

When your whole world turns gloomy,

and life is dismal;

you have to watch out,

’cause you don’t need it at all.

You might think it’s okay,

but soon you’ll find out,

what you thought was correct,

is wrong without a doubt.

You’ll regret it intensely,

when the deed is done,

so please don’t reach out,

I implore you to run.

I don’t think this is one of my best, but the last two lines really reach out and grab me. It kind of pounds me in the gut and I’m like ‘oh’. I’m not sure if that makes any sense, but that’s why I really like this poem. I like poems that can catch me by surprise or poems that have a certain oomph to it.

P.S. I have no name for this poem, so if you have any suggestions then please drop a comment.

P.P.S. Please subscribe to my blog. Please please pleaseeeee and thank you.

P.P.P.S. I like cheeseeeeeeeeee and if you live in the states then vote for Tim Urban to be the next American Idol because he’s hawt and a good entertainer though his voice isn’t as good as the other contestants but he can still sing and I think he would have a good career so PLEASE vote for TIMOTHY URBAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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